This Time Round: Master Test

In which the thoroughly evil, corrupted Masters of The Deadly Assassin
and The Keeper of Traken try to insist that their other selves recover
their reputations...

(Sort of a sequel to Plot and Loophole. The rumours that the Master
is secretly good have been irritating some of his incarnations.)
WARNING - possible spoilers if people haven't seen the latest

"Right," snarled the hideous form of the Traken Master. "I've been
hearing rumours about you - taking in stray kittens, watching
children's television, playing cupid for the Fifth Doctor and who
knows what else. It won't do. We're all supposed to be evil and what
one of you does reflects on the others."

The Delgado Master put down his book with a sigh. "Everyone knows
we're evil. The Doctor certainly doesn't believe those malicious

The Deadly Assassin Master glared at him. Well, it was hard to tell,
but that was the impression. "It's not good enough! And here we are
with two more of us and they're not doing anything to restore our bad

"Excuse me," said the Simm Master. "Taking over the world as we

"Not Inside - here, Outside!"

"Oh," said the newest Master. "I've just been enjoying myself.
Doesn't that border on evil?"

"And these," despaired the Deadly Assassin Master, "are my
replacements -."

The original Master looked up at that. "I believe that should be my
line. I want to know why you two have taken it upon yourselves to
dictate to the rest of us. I don't see that we have anything to
prove. Our villainy is evident to the entire universe."

"Which I very nearly destroyed," added the Ainley Master.

"Fashion designs! Cricket! Clangers and Teletubbies!" hissed the
Traken Master. "It may be mere rumour and gossip at the moment, but
it's already ruining our standing in the community of Evil Masterminds
and Villains. Besides, I traced that mysterious donation to
Nameless's library to you!"

The Delgado Master snapped his book shut. "Somebody needed to enliven
the crime section. Leave it to the great and the good to see to the
library and we'll have nothing but the Doctor's favoured few authors,
children's stories and romances! I never return them on time, you can
depend on that."

"Our likeability and charm is part of who we are," explained the
latest Master. "Well, for some of me, anyway. It may of course give
the wrong impression to the ignorant few, but why should we care by
the time we've seized control of everything and taken what we wanted?"

"I couldn't put it better myself," agreed the Movie Master. "Mind
your own business! What we do Outside continuity surely can have
nothing to do with you ugly pair."

The Deadly Assassin glanced at the would-be Keeper of Traken and then
breathed out his threat. "Get out there and do something evil, all of
you! If you don't - believe us, we'll think up some suitable
retribution to change your mind."

"Must we talk about work when we're off duty?" complained the original
Master. He held up his hands at their anger. "All right, all right.
I'm off. It's not as if it'll be difficult."

He left the building and folded his arms as he surveyed Nameless.
"Drat," he muttered to himself.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Coda

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This Time Round was created by Tyler Dion. All characters are
copyright of the BBC and BBC Wales.