TDTO: Trick or Treat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Ah, Gilbert M." Helen A stopped at the bottom of the staircase, and struck a pose. "I see that the Kandyman has been as obliging as ever. Do tell me, what delicacies are those?" Her majordomo gave a half-bow, and looked at the jar in his hand. "Blood oranges, I believe, ma'am." "Splendid. I do so hope we get some visitors. Tradition should be encouraged." She softened her voice. "And it is for the children, after all." * From the outside, Helen A's residence resembled a smaller version of the White House, painted pink. Its garden sported a collection of statues of clowns, which seemed to leer at passers in the orange glare of the streetlamps. Between beds of plastic flowers stood playground equipment that looked to have been salvaged from the Chernobyl exclusion zone. It was no wonder that the inhabitants of Nameless gave it a wide berth. Most of the time, anyway. On this particular night, half-a-dozen eleven-year-olds from H G Wells High School, wearing occult-themed costumes and carrying pumpkin lamps, were preparing to storm the citadel. "Seriously?" Danny Pink asked. "You're going in there?" Courtney Woods tossed her head, taking care not to disturb her zombie makeup. "Thought you was gonna be a soldier? You can't be a soldier if you're scared of a stupid house." "Soldiers spy out the land first," Danny said seriously. "The people here've got a dog." "Yeah? So?" Danny turned to Clara Oswald for support. "Tell her she's being an idiot." "Courtney," Clara said. "You're being an idiot." She straightened her pointed hat. "Right, let's get in there." Before Danny could protest, the group had marched boldly up the drive. Clara pressed the doorbell, which played an off-key version of 'Happy Days Are Here Again'. A few moments later, the door opened, and Helen A looked down at the group. "How nice of you to call," she said, and bestowed a politican's smile on them. "Trick or treat!" the children chorused. "We got plenty of eggs to throw if you say 'trick,'" Courtney added. Helen A's smile didn't crack. "What a delightful little scamp," she said. She reached back into the building and produced a paper bag. "Here are some sweeties for you _dear_ children." She dropped the bag into the outstretched hand of the nearest child, a fragile-looking blonde girl dressed as a mummy, and closed the door firmly in their faces. "There you are," Courtney said. "Result. How easy was that?" "Let's get out of here," Danny muttered. Courtney shook her head. "I wanna see what she's given us first. Hand 'em over, Maisie." Maisie obligingly held the bag out. Sugary spheroids glinted red and orange in the light of their lamps. "Are you going to try one, then?" Journey Blue asked. Courtney had been reaching for one of the sweets, but drew back. "Nah," she said. "Not really my thing." "You didn't say that when you were scoffing all that sherbet Ms Lundvik gave us." Clara smirked triumphantly. "I think you're scared now." "Of a stupid sweet? No way. I'm not scared of anything." "Bet you are," Danny said. "I'd eat one." Courtney rounded on him. "All right, then. You eat one and I'll eat one too." "You don't have to..." Maisie began. But too late. Danny and Courtney had both already picked a sweet from the bag. "Give us a count of three," Courtney said. Clara folded her arms. "OK. One. Two. Three!" The two children popped the sweets into their mouths. "Courtney?" Maisie asked nervously. "Are you all right?" Courtney, it was clear, was far from all right. Her hair, naturally curly, was standing out around her head, with sparks crackling across it. A red light was shining in her eyes, and an orange glow was beginning to suffuse her body. "Danny?" Clara turned to see that Danny had fallen to the ground, his flesh glowing in the dark like Courtney's. "Danny!" "They killed Danny again," Journey said. "The bas--" Abruptly, the glow cut out. Courtney, her skin and hair now orange in hue, dropped to her knees, gasping for breath. At the same time, a similarly orange Danny managed to rise onto all fours. "Come on," Clara said. "Let's get out of here." Supporting their afflicted friends, they made their way to the gate at the best pace they could. Once safely outside, they paused to catch their breath. "I knew it was a trap," Maisie moaned. "I don't care." Courtney seemed to have recovered from her experience far more quickly than Danny had. While Danny was shivering and subdued, Courtney's burning rage was evident through her zombie makeup. "I'm gonna egg that evil old bat's house. Who's with me?" Journey and Clara both raised their hands. "OK. You two, with me." "The rest of you, look after the sweets," Clara said over her shoulder. Eggs at the ready, the intrepid trio marched up the drive. * "I think they're coming back to ask for an explanation, ma'am," Gilbert M called down from the landing. Helen A nodded. "Let me know if they perform any acts of mindless thuggery. I think darling Fifi deserves to enjoy tonight as much as everybody else." * "Take that!" Courtney shouted, hurling an egg. It smashed against the front door. "No-one turns me orange and--" "Courtney," Journey interrupted. She had an egg in her own hand, but hadn't begun throwing yet. "Can you hear something?" Courtney hurled another egg. "Like what?" "Like something growling," Clara said nervously. "There!" Journey pointed into the darkness. Something was bounding towards them, its eyes two points of red light. "The dog!" Clara tensed, ready to run. "Don't run!" Courtney caught hold of Clara by the sleeve. "You got to show it who's boss." She tried to stare down the approaching creature. "Sit! Good dog! Stay! Aargh! Get it off me!" "Journey, run!" Clara shouted. "Courtney, hang on!" Courtney sounded as if she'd been dragged to the ground. "It's the one hanging on to me!" Clara dashed forward and thrust with her broom at the furry shape. With a howl, it released its grip on Courtney. Its jaws closed around the broomstick, and yanked it out of Clara's hands. Clara pulled Courtney to her feet, and the two ran back to the gate. As they slammed it behind them, they heard the dog's furious barks and growls, its running feet, and the thud of its body against the far side. "Did it bite you?" Maisie asked. "Not me," Clara said. "Courtney?" "Don't think so. Anyone got a light?" Courtney bent down and examined her legs. "Look at what it's done!" Her trousers, as befitted a zombie, had previously been ragged. Now, 'shredded' was a better description. Her trainers, too, had a chewed look to them. "She'll regret setting that horrible rat thing on me," Courtney snarled. "Just wait till I get my hands on her." "Don't!" Maisie protested. "I'm not scared of her." Journey put her hands on Courtney's shoulders. "Maybe that's just what she wants us to do. You reckon she's really evil, don't you? Even more than Ms Karabraxos?" "Of course she is!" "Then she'll have something ready for you if you go back. Something worse than the dog. Like old Karabraxos and her maths detentions." "Yeah," Danny added. "The dog nearly ate you this time. Next time she'll get you for sure." "Look, she gave you stuff that turns you orange," Journey said. "That can't be allowed. We should tell a policeman." * Gilbert M was still at his post on the landing when he heard Helen A's quiet footstep behind him. "Do tell me, Gilbert M. Have the little hooligans learned the error of their ways?" she asked sweetly. "I don't think they're coming back, ma'am." "Excellent! Antisocial louts reformed into well-behaved children. Just think what good we've done to society. And we didn't even have to use the fondant surprise." She indicated a large vat, balanced on the balcony above the front door of the house. "We may have other visitors this evening, ma'am," Gilbert M hastily reassured her. "I do hope so." Helen A smiled again. "It would be a pity if the Kandyman's hard work were to be wasted, after all." * "Have you seen the police in this town?" Danny asked. "That copper they sent to teach us about road safety was crackers. He kept talking to his sock puppet all the time." "You mean Sergeant Moggie," Maisie said. "I liked him." "No police," Courtney said firmly. "They wouldn't believe me. Let's just... go somewhere else, OK?" "OK." A thought struck Clara. "And we'd better make sure no-one eats any more of those sweets. Who had them?" The youngest member of the group held up the bag. "Well, make sure not to eat any of them." "Why not?" Ashildr said. She popped another blood-orange into her mouth, with no visible effect. "I like them. They've got a bit of a sting in their tail." [ "Doctor Who" characters belong to the BBC. This Time Round created by Tyler Dion. Then Do That Over by Paul Gadzikowski.] -- John Elliott Thinks: This is what a nice clean life leads to. Hmm, why did I ever lead one? -- Bluebottle, in the Goon Show